Homeschooler Involved In Lawsuit With Mr. Potato Head

Photo Courtesy of Wikipedia

I have sad news today readers. Apparently a homeschool family has been sued by Mr. Potato Head. Mr. Head claims misuse and downright assault for the manner in which he was treated by little Miss Susie Prescott. I was able to wrangle a copy of the complaint and am sharing it here in the hopes of saving other homeschooling families from a similar fate.

The problem apparently happened because little Susie decided to be creative and think outside the box, or rather, outside the potato. Creative and unusual thinking, which of course is normally a huge benefit to homeschooling, has unfortunately resulted in this frivolous lawsuit from the money-hungry Mr. Potato Head.

What did Susie do that was so horrible? She simply tried to use a variety of fruits and vegetables for bodies. She thought it was a lot of fun but apparently Mr. Potato Head did not. Below are some of the humorless tuber's complaints:

1. In one instance, Susie used an onion. Mr. Potato Head testified that he cried all week.

2. She used an orange and complainant was teased incessantly over his pimply face and was very uncomfortable with the sticky juice running down his legs.

3. The day she used a melon, complainant was forced to endure several bouts of sumo wrestling with muscle bound toys from her brother's room.

4. Complainant was incoherent during the period Susie used green pepper because, as in his words, "I was a complete airhead."

5. The peach days resulted in complainant scratching his nose the entire time whereupon he now has physical scars from the experience.

6. Using bananas and tomatoes resulted in complainant receiving a bad reputation from newer toys as they assumed client to be a slippery and seedy character.

7. When Suzie used eggplant, it provoked a racially charged incident in the toy box.

8. Finally, Suzie has allegedly expanded past fruits and vegetables and used rolls found in the breadbox which has resulted in complainant acquiring a powerful yeast infection that will not clear up.

According to his lawyer, Mr. Potato Head has been suffering immensely from mental anguish. He has been humiliated, embarrassed, and has continuing medical problems.

Nevertheless, he is apparently willing to settle and keep this out of the courts if the family complies with these demands:

All my client asks is that you, the parents of Susie Prescott, keep this child supplied with plenty of fresh potatoes. He wishes to remind you that, purchased in ten-pound bags, potatoes are very, very economical. If this cannot be done, Mr. Potato Head requests that you have a yard sale in which he is placed in a very prominent position.

(NOTE TO READERS: In case anyone hasn't figured it out yet, this is just for fun. Enjoy your April Fool's Day)