I need help. Yeah, I know that's not surprising to a lot of people, but really, can someone help a girl out here?
I'm technically not legally allowed to use the term girl to describe myself and I'm definitely not what you would call a girly-girl. As a matter of fact, a recent Facebook quiz told me I'm 100% tomboy. Which is perfectly fine most of the time.
However, my daughter decided to get married. And she totally ignored my suggestion to elope and instead has opted for a more or less traditional wedding. Which means she wants me to, gasp, wear a fancy dress!
So she dragged me out shopping and found one she liked. I liked it a lot too. She told me so. We bought it and it's been hanging on a bedroom door for a couple of months, constantly taunting me, reminding me that I'm going to actually be wearing a dress very soon.
The other day, I decided to try it on again, to see if I could work up some enthusiasm. I wanted to practice smiling while at the same time wearing a dress, which is quite a multi-tasking feat for me. So, I put on the sensible shoes I planned to wear and glided gracefully around the house practicing my walk and my smile. Everything was cool, and I was actually feeling pretty good about it all.
Until I tripped over the dress. Yep, I realized the dress was too long and dragging badly. Something had to be done.
I thought about just cutting off the bottom but that wouldn't work. This dress has all sorts of frilly stuff under there and if you mess with frilly stuff the fashion police might come over. Plus there's a label in there that says it's illegal to even remove the tag.
Then I considered going into the kitchen and spilling leftover spaghetti sauce down the front. But I forgot I already ate the entire batch in one sitting the other night when I started thinking abut having to wear a dress all day.
So, I finally admitted the best choice was to go out and get taller shoes. Which means spikey shoes of course. Here's what I came home with:
I did manage to find ones I could slip in and out of very easily so that's good. But I did not avoid the spikey heels which means I now have another project to complete before the wedding.
I'm going to have to learn to walk again.
This is where you come in. I still have a few weeks to practice but I'm not sure I'm going to make it. Of course I'm going to use the hands-on, I mean feet-on learning philosophy that worked so well with my kids, but I don't' know how well that's going to work.
So if anyone has any suggestions, let me know. I might try them out.
Or, because I really love my daughter and want it to be a special day, I might just not practice at all. Then when I fall flat on my face walking down the aisle, I will have done my part in making her wedding day a very memorable event for all.
What do you think?
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6 comments:
My mom always told me to walk slowly and don't lean forward. I tend to walk in shoes like I walk in sneakers. (That's tennis shoes to you midwestern folk) But it's not so much the walking I'd be worried about, it's the sharp stabbing pain. :) The shoes are great looking!
Your post makes me thankful I have sons who, so far, have no style sense and will likely have NO interest in helping me pick out wedding attire when/if their time comes.
That said, I have complete confidence in you, Girl. And who said you (we) can't call yourself a girl anymore?
I AM GIRL! HEAR ME creak.
I can so see this happening to me when/if my daughter gets married.
Love the shoes! I have no wisdom to offer as I haven't worn heels in quite some time. Loved the post!
1. Scary picture.
2. Those shoes look awesome.
3. You crack me up as always.
4. Love you, thank you for wearing a dress just for me!!
Jennie,
Okay, walk slowly and don't lean forward. Check.
Becki,
I was talking about the prissy aspect of girl, not the age aspect. I can understand your confusion though, after all, you are 50 now!
Gail,
Everyone says they do like the shoes which is great, but I suspect most of you just like them because you secretly hope to see pics of me falling down on the big day.
Melissa,
Wouldn't do it any other way. Unless of course you let me.
You will definitely have to use the heel to give you balance. If you sort of lean back into them slightly you should be fine. The shoes and blog post reminded me of the movie Miss Congeniality...if you haven't seen it you may want to. LOL
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